I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
