When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
