no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
