I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
