Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
