I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
