i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
