Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
