she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
