a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
