made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
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Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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