somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
