They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
