What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I skipped work to stalk him.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
