who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
