Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she pinky promised me she was 18
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
