Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
the liver wants what the liver wants
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
