I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
