Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
