We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize