i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
