Can Purell be used as lube?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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