So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
