I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize