My room smells like vodka and shame
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
