he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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