Your dad touched me again.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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