he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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