I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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