why didn't you poke me back
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
