IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
