we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
