Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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