I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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