I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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