and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
