I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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