Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
