we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
love makes seman taste better
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
