And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
