Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize