Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
