She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i need some magic done to my vagina
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think we might need a safe word for this...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
