We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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