I just made out with a guy for $7.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
