Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
