I want to make a zoo with you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
