Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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