i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
