Kiss
Puke
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
