fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
