Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
