This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
