I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize