i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
pray to the hookup gods
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
