I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
