So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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