Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
