My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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