He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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