We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize