That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
