no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
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I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
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Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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