wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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