I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
