Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
