Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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