After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
