I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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