Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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