Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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