Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on

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(303): erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on http://tfl.nu/r4c1

Replies (12) Good night (950) Bad night (2712)
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(845): View more from New York

what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?

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(845): what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much? http://tfl.nu/y3h1

Replies (23) Good night (3212) Bad night (503)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.

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(832): I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots" (832): On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep. http://tfl.nu/g6me

Replies (16) Good night (3054) Bad night (606)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.

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(709): I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea. http://tfl.nu/at1w

Replies (16) Good night (1111) Bad night (2777)
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(541): View more from Oregon

She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it

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(541): She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it http://tfl.nu/9pgr

Replies (3) Good night (1933) Bad night (1005)
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(585): View more from New York

Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.

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(585): Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you. http://tfl.nu/iycg

Replies (12) Good night (2437) Bad night (1868)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.

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(402): I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham. http://tfl.nu/kvkl

Replies (3) Good night (1393) Bad night (597)
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(214): View more from Texas

Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.

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(214): Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff. http://tfl.nu/wfam

Replies (3) Good night (457) Bad night (1194)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.

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(808): I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it. http://tfl.nu/dne1

Replies (11) Good night (944) Bad night (445)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.

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(651): As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week. http://tfl.nu/bh6r

Replies (4) Good night (802) Bad night (379)
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(406): View more from Montana

Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.

(1-406): View more from Montana

Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.

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(406): Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever. (1-406): Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible. http://tfl.nu/2r6p

Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (383)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...

(860): View more from Connecticut

the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you

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(203): I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop... (860): the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you http://tfl.nu/0s0c

Replies (10) Good night (1949) Bad night (445)
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(773): View more from Illinois

He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.

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(773): He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex. http://tfl.nu/oxcx

Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (254)
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(512): View more from Texas

they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze

(1-512): View more from Texas

you have the best friends

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(512): they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze (1-512): you have the best friends http://tfl.nu/c4bj

Replies (4) Good night (2491) Bad night (385)
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(925): View more from California

A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.

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(925): A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas. http://tfl.nu/wou7

Replies (4) Good night (718) Bad night (277)

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