Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
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So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.