I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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