So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
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My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
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I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.