There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm like, not good at living.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
