so that wasnt chicken after all
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
