I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
