Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
