so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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