Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit

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  (805): I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!? (1-805): Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit http://tfl.nu/hqm2
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.

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  (402): I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska. http://tfl.nu/x618
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?

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  (704): I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this? http://tfl.nu/q6uf
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?

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  (601): hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow? http://tfl.nu/vvua
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation

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  (856): Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation http://tfl.nu/7n0f
  Replies (13) Good night (521) Bad night (3756) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.

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  (662): I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven. http://tfl.nu/u85e
  Replies (24) Good night (3025) Bad night (2371) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this

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  (610): Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this http://tfl.nu/fwmk
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful

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  (816): Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful http://tfl.nu/oafq
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.

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  (410): She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible. http://tfl.nu/n7ul
  Replies (18) Good night (5246) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.

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  (724): Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over. http://tfl.nu/rd2c
  Replies (5) Good night (3187) Bad night (1112) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.

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  (415): sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened. http://tfl.nu/mg5e
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  (716): View more from New York

  If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.

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  (716): If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex. http://tfl.nu/vi35
  Replies (13) Good night (4171) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company

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  (409): Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company http://tfl.nu/2763
  Replies (13) Good night (585) Bad night (2371) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..

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  (609): i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you.. http://tfl.nu/9nik
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.

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  (814): You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party. http://tfl.nu/277a
  Replies (3) Good night (1092) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt

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