everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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